She Tells Me I am Loved
by OnyxHarmony
Summary: ((Short story based on a dm rp with grumpy zane on tumblr. Corrupted Zane belongs to Grumpy andf Deity belongs to me. )) Verse 17 Zane is corrupted and has finally seen the error of his ways after many have died at his hand..so he powers himself down as not to cause more pain, because of his influences. Someone from another Verse who showed him he was wrong continues to visit.


Jay powers me on, slowly shaking me to make sure I'm coming online. "Did she really come back?" I can't help but ask, scared after what I'd nearly done to her and her brother. Looking around, the walls are still the same as the day I shut myself down. Stone..an empty room with ancient, engraved stone walls. I deserve this..I am a danger to the new world emerging on the surface. With _**his**_ influence inside me, I am dangerous. I can hear her footsteps..they don't clank on the stone floor..a quick glance to Jay and a sheepish grin from the scruffy lightning elemental tells me this is his doing. He repaid her for the kindness she showed me. Optic sensors finally focusing, I can see her. Nearly a haunting image of the version of her I'd killed..hair black as raven feathers, cream colored skin and deep sapphire eyes..a twinge of guilt builds in the pit of my stomach. It was so long ago.. Cole cried for her, but I showed no remorse. I can feel a tear dripping down my face-only to be wiped away by a soft thumb. By her. She smiles, patting my face. "Happy Birthday!" She says, giving me a warm hug. "I'm sorry I was late!" She apologizes, opening my chest panel up to make sure I'm not slowly rusting on the inside. I intended to shut down for eternity..but she apparently protested and asked to see me. "I..did not think you would ever come back. Not for me, at least." She shushes me softly, examining my wires to make sure they have not decayed.

"My birthday? Has it been a year since I saw you last?" I ask, curious. My internal chronometer is stuck. I'm sure she will fix that with Jay's help. She lifts her head, bits of grease smeared on her cheek. She nods, giving me a smile..I can tell she's still worried about me. She made me question what I'd done when she finally beat my game that day. The first remorse I'd ever felt. "I'm sorry..-" I apologetically say, my voice cracking as I feel wet sliding down my face. I'm crying. But who am I apologizing to? Her? Or the one I killed? The one I dangled in front of her love while he screamed and cried out for her? The sister I could've had? She tilts my head up toward her and wipes the tears off my face, closing my chest panel and reactivating my arms and legs. "I'm sure they forgive you. The sins of one will never make up for the lives of the many lost, but I'm sure they forgive you, some way. You couldn't see that you were loved." Loved? I can't help but watch her, seeing her tug something from her bag. Rubber bands? I must look confused, because she explains that she wants to fix my hair. I kept it clean when I was powered on, but she is right. It is a little unruly. Why does she care? And why do I not mind? She sits behind me, silently brushing my hair. Something..feels different. Relaxed? Do I feel relaxed? She pauses, grabbing a rubber band and starting to braid my hair. "Zane..I will visit when I can, I promise. I have my own life..but you are part of it, you know?" I can feel my breath catch. Red eyes focusing on the ground in front of me, I can see Jay grinning in the corner. He likes to see me act human, I suppose. Is that what this is? This feeling?

"I am..part of your life." I repeat, trying to believe it myself. She gently pats my head as I flex my clawed hand. She sees that and ties a braid off, putting her hand on the claw. "I know. I know you want to stay shut down because of **his** influence, Zane." She watches me, wrapping her hand around a blade on the claw. "But will you let me visit every so often? Even if its a year or more between visits?" I hesitate. She is..safe down here, with Jay's supervision. But what if **he** surfaces? What if **he** tries to hurt her? I slowly turn around, shakily wrapping my arms around her. She flinches..is she scared? No, no she wasn't expecting it. "I will..let you visit. But.." I slowly lift my head, red eyes watching sapphire. "Am.." I can't get the question out. I fear the answer. My voice shakes. "Am I a monster, Deity..?" She hesitates, as if searching for the right answer. She slowly cups my face. "Yes and no." She can see me look away from her, so she gets me to look at her again. "Yes because you killed and hurt a great many people. ..But no..because you regret it. You became a slave to your self doubts and personal demons. To the idea that humanity is veins and blood, and skin and bones." She shakes her head. "You felt neglected and left behind." She squishes my cheeks in her hand, toying with me in a loving manner. Like she _loves_ me.. like a **sister**. Dropping her hands, she slowly tugs me into her arms, and I can see Jay taking pictures. Perhaps to remember this moment?

"Deity.." I say as she lets me go and turns me back around, returning to braid some more. "Do you love me?" She doesn't miss a beat, replying to my question. "Like Ice Cube?" She asks, affectionately referring to Z-447. "Yes.." Another upbeat, vibrant reply echoes in the stone chamber. "Of course I love you, Icicle!" I tense, turning to look at her. "Icicle?" She smiles..this smile could melt anything. I can see why Z-447 loves her so much. She radiates a feeling of _**home**_. "Yes, Icicle." She screws her mouth up as though she's thinking. "I can't call you Ice Cube!" She shakes her head. "Ice Cube is.." She chuckles. "Look, it's a mental thing. I call another Zane Snowball, so.." She turns me back around, starting another braid. There is a small pause of silence. "How..much do you love him? I am aware it is a strictly platonic and familial relationship..but the way he looks at you..-" I can feel her hands pause in my hair. "Forever, Icicle. I love him forever. As much as forever and eternity can be for a brother and sister." This confuses me. "You are mortal.." She continues braiding..she's warm. A happy, loving warmth. "But I won't be after I pass away. No matter how my life on the mortal plane comes to an end..I will stay. I.." She hesitates. Like she is unsure of telling me. "My Jay built me a nindroid body." Jay and I seem to pause at the same time. I can see Jay watching her now. "He..He _what_?" The lightning master asks, his voice wavering. Another pause stills her hands in my hair. "Jay..It was originally in case Cole ever snaps on me too hard. If the corruption makes him _kill_ me. Hell..it still might be for that. Despite him controlling it, and despite my trust in him..the future is uncertain."

Jay seems to be listening, in slight shock that a precaution would ever be necessary. But then he glances at me, gaze lingering. Deity fights his gaze back with a sharp tone, snapping him from his thoughts. "Don't you dare look at him like that!" She scolds Jay, glaring at him. She.. **defended** me. "He is remorseful of his sins..aren't you?" She continues her braiding, now tying the braids together..in a crown type setting. "I.." I pause, keeping my gaze at the floor. I know Jay is listening. "Then? No. I wasn't. I couldn't feel anything. It was a _game_. **My** game. But.." I look at Jay. "If Z-447 hadn't brought Deity to me, I.." My eyes are wet again. " I would've kept going. Forever. A heartless, killing machine." I shake my head. "My..apologies." I am usually stoic..silent..what is wrong with me? Deity finishes her braiding and has me look. Something is swelling in my chest. What is that? It burns..but in a good way. I must look hurt, or confused..because Deity is examining my eyes. Her face switches from concern to a smile. It slowly creeps into her face. "Do you remember when I said Ice Cube felt all on his own? You're starting to." I am..feeling. Like a human being. Jay steps out to check the surface-the city is still rebuilding, but Jay has taken over making sure the droids stay repaired and in working order while they build. Once he is out of earshot, I slowly lift my gaze up to my.. **sister**. "Deity..would you visit if I was..powered down? Even on my birthday? I do not want to risk-" She gently covers my mouth, watching my red eyes. She looks as though she respects me for my decision. "You are..following what Julien designed you for." She moves her hand away, knowing Jay will be gone a bit longer. I can only nod, trying to smile. "You never want me to turn you on ever again? Not even Jay?" I shake my head. It will prevent **him** from ever escaping, and I can atone for what I've done. She looks..sad. "Deity, I-" She smiles, shushing me. "I understand. You and Ice Cube are the same in that regard, I suppose. Always thinking of innocent lives before yourself." I look down at the floor, and she tilts my head back up to her. "I will visit every birthday, every Christmas, Day of the Departed..anything you want. Sometime I'll visit, just to sit with you because I miss you." I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "In the silence?" She chuckles.

"I might sit here and tell you things you will never be able to hear..and I may be tempted to turn you back on, but I promise not to. Because you wish it. But please, remember some things before I shut you down. I love you, Zane. You are my brother. You will be human to me, no matter the verse, what you are made of, or how long I am in existence. I forgive you, Zane. You fell prey to your own personal demons like humans can easily do. It led you down a terrible path, but we all forgive you..even Jay." I slowly look up at her. "Even..Jay?" She nods, stroking my cheek with a cream-skinned thumb. Shaking my head, I tug her into my arms..being careful of my claw. I give her a hug, gently squeezing her and letting go. "I love you, little sister. Deity..my little sister." The warm smile creeps into her face again as she opens my chest panel. "I love you too, Icicle. Would you like me to-" I cut her off, knowing what she'll ask. "Initiate a slow shut down so I can watch you go home?" My voice cracks out of slight sadness, knowing this will be the last time I physically see her..but also with the pride of knowing that doing this will save lives. "Yes, please.." She reaches over to my power core and places her hand over it, shaking her head. "You have a big heart, Zane. I hope you know that." She flips the auto shut down switch inside my chest panel, which is next to my power core and she watches my red eyes slowly grow dim. She's quick to close my chest panel and pack her things up. As I watch her warp away through a weakness in this universe's spacial fabric, I can hear myself repeating a few things as I power down.

My name, is Zane Julien.

I am _**human**_.

I am _**loved**_.

I have a _**family**_.

I am _**forgiven**_.

I am a _**protector**_.

 **I can..finally..rest..**


End file.
